Buzz Words

So, a good friend has already written a post about words that have started popping up time and again in conversation recently. It makes sense. . .we’ve been having similar conversations. As I’ve thought about the patterns in my conversations, I’ve gotten to the point where some processing in writing might be helpful. So here are my thoughts on community, relationships and becoming an adult.

Community—This really has been a buzz word this week. How can a group of 80-ish people live, work and play together in a healthy way that also shines the light of Christ? What happens when people don’t feel like they are part of the community? How do you maintain important relationships while leaving room for new ones? Who is my community and am I willing to expand that circle? Ok, so maybe I still have more questions than answers for this word, but it’s a big topic. At this point, I can say that I am thankful for my community and for the people here who pull me into their community. I have to be careful not to get protective; welcoming new people into the community does not mean that I will no longer have a place.

Perceptions—Wow, perceptions are tricky things. I’m starting to think that more often than not, our perceptions about people and situations are wrong. . .but we don’t know it and so we base so many attitudes, reactions and actions on our perceptions which only perpetuates problems. (And because I’m an English teacher, it is my due diligence to point out the alliteration in the previous sentence.) I’m getting to a point where I can see that the only thing that will correct faulty perceptions is honest communication which scares the crap out of me. However, I’m also getting to a point where I’d rather have the right perception than not risk the vulnerability of an honest conversation.

Intentional (/initiative)—To build a healthy community, there has to be “intentional-ity” (I’m not sure if I made up that word, but I don’t know how else to make being intentional into a noun.) I have to seek other people out; other people have to seek me out and we both have to decide that we will be purposeful  (another buzz word) in how we spend our time. Another way to say this is that people need to take initiative.  A friend told me this week that they don’t often see me taking initiative (which is true) and asked why. I have decided that the honest answer to this is that I don’t feel like it’s my place. I know that I struggle with being afraid that I need people more than they need me and so I don’t want them to feel like they are doing me a favor by spending time with me. Even as I write it, I can see the flaws in this reasoning and I’m working to change it. I have also come to realize that I don’t need much encouragement to become an initiator—all I need is to hear once that my invitations would be welcome and I’m good to go.

*I apologize for the profuse use of parentheses in the previous paragraph

Internal processing—so this isn’t necessarily a word I have been using a lot, but I’m using it to represent another lesson I’m learning. I have learned more about myself in the last 8 months than I have probably learned about myself in the last 8 years. It is amazing to me that I am just now learning some of these lessons about building friendships, understanding how my brain works and interacting with other people. For example, I realized this summer that I am an internal processor. Before that realization, I knew that I would often talk things out with myself in my car or as I was walking somewhere. But now, I’m able to use that information and explain how I work to other people. How I can be 28 years old and just now getting to that point still amazes me. . .but it’s the truth. And I’ve decided that maybe this is what becoming an adult looks like.

Well, thanks for making it this far. Not really earth-shattering stuff, but now you know what’s been rolling around in my brain this week.