Mostly because I have no mental reserves left to come up with something that really says what I want it to say.
Thursdays are one of my busiest days. My planning period consists of two 40 minute blocks of time at the beginning and end of the day. Everything else is teaching. It means that 70 students spend time in my room throughout the course of the day. And 10 of those girls come twice because I'm also an advisory leader.
So on any given Thursday, I'm busy basically the entire school day. I forget what the statistic is about how many decisions teachers make per day. But I definitely meet my quota on Thursdays.
Today held not only the typical teaching challenges, but the added challenges of dealing with a couple particularly tricky interactions with students.--Not bad situations, but definitely situations where my words could be taken the wrong way and negatively impact my relationship with those students.
At the end of the day, I could barely move. My mental emptiness was manifesting itself physically and all I wanted to do was sleep. (It didn't hurt that it's been a dreary, rainy day.)
Once I got home, I ate dinner and processed the day. The conclusion I came to was the strain really came from working to ensure that my words conveyed what needed to be said, didn't alienate the students or damage any trust the students might have in me. Paul calls this "speaking the truth in love."
As I've prayed about it, I know that my decision to have those conversations was the right one. I feel peace about the words that said. And I really hope tomorrow isn't quite as stressful.
Today has been a good reminder that:
- teachers definitely deserve/need summer vacation
- I cannot speak the truth in love when I depend on my own brain to come up with the words.
- When I feel emptied, it is vital to be re-filled. . .and the Source is always available.
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